I met with a friend recently. Her husband is having some health issues. The changes in him changes their relationship and she is struggling. I recognize some of the issues as things Glen and I faced and I am reminded of others they may face in time.

I’m going to backtrack just a bit. When my Mom was aging, one of the more difficult things I faced was her tendency to become….well harsh and unkind with me. Our chaplain assured me that I did not need to put up with it. That it was ok to tell her I did not need to put up with her unkindness and then leave.

Sometimes Glen had similar attitudes. The experience with Mom helped as I would tell him I was not staying. Sometimes he’d get pissy about it which caused me to say ‘See? THAT is why I’m not staying’ but other times he’d recognize the issue, settle and the rest of our time would be fine.

Life was tough but the conversations I had with the chaplain and the support I received from family and friends, our priest and the like made things so much easier. It was also extremely important that Glen had similar support. It was that duel support that made all the difference. By myself, with only me supported, life would have been tough in the extreme but Glen had support too so our conversations reflected what we’d learned through our support persons.

My friend has some of this support for herself.  Unfortunately her husband is not getting support. He does not seem to feel the need and when my friend tries to encourage him to get support he is defensive in the extreme.

We ALL need support! Couples need support individually but together too! I hope all are finding the support they need.

I am extremely grateful for the support I’ve received and continue to receive.

Author: bdeshaw

Mom, Grandma, raised a puppy for Canine Companions for Independence

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