You lean on me; I’ll lean on you

I’ve been struggling the last few days. Come and See…Go and Tell is the expression of the Cursillo movement in The Diocese of Olympia. I spent the weekend working the event. The struggle is because this is one of those things that Glen did too. Glen loved doing the weekends. So as I go about the business of the weekend I see him everywhere, hear his voice and turn often at the sound of a guitar expecting to see him even though he has been gone now for coming up on two years. There are things about the weekend I avoid as the flood will come and not be stopped. I don’t need to bring that to the guests or the rest of the team. Still working the weekend is not something I would pass up as it is a joy to share! I do not completely avoid some of these things but rather share with the team my issues so if I disappear to the vigil room during an activity they will understand. This community is part of my support structure. I NEED these weekends to remind me that I have these people in my life to be my support and that I in turn can be support to them.

As Christians we need to be reminded that there is no model for what my priest husband called the ‘Lone Ranger Christian’. The one who thinks they can be a Christian and not be part of a community. Yes, at times, it is good to withdraw to a place to be alone with God. To go to the mountain top, to seek the quiet and peace of stillness but then to come back and Go and Tell.

I originally sat down to write because I had been reading over my own reflections on things and those of others. I wanted to express how much I need the reminders of history to see the light that shines on my own life and to see too how I have been the light for others. Many times those moments are ones I do not recognize except in these moments of looking back.

I am blessed! I have two wonderful kids! I am lucky! too as others think I have two wonderful kids. We always said God gave us good clay and we worked at it. We did intentional things to raise up good kids who recognize the importance of God in their lives. I am so grateful for this!

I am blessed! to look back and see our lives in what I have written but also in what my daughter has written and to share a different view of those lives as I see them through her eyes.

I am blessed! I had an amazing man as my husband, lover, partner and friend for 45 years of marriage and was lucky to have known him for an additional 7 years before we were married. I miss him. I will always miss him. My community makes it easier as I lean on them and in allowing others to lean on me I become stronger in the person God intends me to be.


Author: bdeshaw

Mom, Grandma, raised a puppy for Canine Companions for Independence

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