I had a nightmare. It is rare for me to have nightmares. Even as a child I can only think of a few times I went crying to my parents’ room to seek comfort, to seek the reality that would put aside the fear.
Nightmares – the stuff of our imaginations and, more than anything, fear of the unknown.
In my grown-up life the nightmares flee before reason. I ask first – is this possible? If the answer is “no” the problem is solved, and the fear is gone but if the answer is “yes” then I ask – “What might I do to avoid this possibility?” In recent times there is also the problem that I can do nothing to avoid the possibility so then I must ask “What happens after?”
What happens after is something that occupies my thoughts and my nightmares these days.
If I get sick and die does not trouble me as I know what happens after! But if I get sick I might have difficulties recovering both health wise and economically – what happens after?
If my children are affected because there is illness in the family or lost income – what happens after?
When we come out on the other side – what happens after?
That last one is the stuff of nightmares. I want to be in charge of my own future but can do little and all we hear about is what is happening now. What happens after?
For now, all I can do is act cautiously to avoid any illness on my own part, encourage everyone I know to also act cautiously and pray someone has or is working on a plan for What happens after.